I remember distinctly when my husband was called to ministry. We weren't married then. We were just dating. It was a Sunday in a small, now defunct church in Grinnell, IA. The story is Paul's, but the confirmation of the call was supernatural.
So, after my blog post last night Paul called this morning. He was getting ready to work on his resume for the job we were excited about. It was for a job at an AG university. He checked the website and the job was no longer available. I feel a little disappointed, but a little bit resigned. I mostly feel like it was a clear answer. We've tried to see if we can bend the call to fit a different type of ministry...I wonder if sometime in the future God might bring some of those hopes to fruition, but for now...I don't think so. It is too much like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
We can't get away from the call. I have a feeling that at least at this point in our lives the Lord wants us to be in ministry in a church. I can kick all I want (and I don't really want to), but Paul's calling is real and true and that is what the Lord wants. Now, the Lord will just have to open the right door to the right church (we did send 15 church resumes yesterday).
In kid news...
Kapooka is wearing a "pretty dress" today. She is doing this because Skye has on a dress. Skye has an interview for a job.
Wildcat has his last day of VBS. For the last 4 years he and Paul have a secret activity that they do before VBS. They went this morning and did it. I believe it involves football in a park and then pop from McDonalds at an obscenely early hour in the morning. However, it is a boy secret, and I'm not totally privileged to the details. I do know that they had to say goodbye to all of their favorite spots today, and they took pictures.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Thankful
Last night as I was trying to go to sleep, I used an old trick of mine. I listed all of my blessings until I fell asleep. Since I have been battling insomnia, I created quite a long list. I woke up this morning feeling so refreshed. It was good to re-focus and thank God for all the good that He does and the good that He is.
I am also thankful for friends. Several have been over this week, and we've just had fun. Family are calling just to check in and encourage us. One friend sent me such a thoughtful e-mail that I am still digesting it before I write her back but it is helping me wrap my brain a little more productively around some of these transition issues. Another friend pointed out a position that Paul could apply for. I have to say...I would like most of the jobs that Paul has applied for, and probably even end up loving them (being a pastor's wife it is sort of my job too), but this one I am excited about the possibility. It is in a location that we had originally said "NO WAY" to, but it is intriguing enough and has so many positive options for our whole family that I think Paul is going to apply. Even if he doesn't get it, I feel fantastic that I am dreaming a little again, and I don't think I will be crushed.
I just think it is neat that the e-mail from my friend prepared me to even consider the job opportunity possibility from the other friend. The body of Christ is a marvelous thing.
Oh, and the family went swimming today before massive thunderstorms. I took a nap. The mosquitos are so bad that if I even step out the back door I get about 4 bites instantly and look like a chicken pox patient after about 15 minutes. Guess I'm just too sweet, and bug spray doesn't work in the pool. What a blessing that pool has been (again given by another member of the body of Christ). I like naps better than "gator" bites. That is what Kapooka calls mosquito bites.
I am also thankful for friends. Several have been over this week, and we've just had fun. Family are calling just to check in and encourage us. One friend sent me such a thoughtful e-mail that I am still digesting it before I write her back but it is helping me wrap my brain a little more productively around some of these transition issues. Another friend pointed out a position that Paul could apply for. I have to say...I would like most of the jobs that Paul has applied for, and probably even end up loving them (being a pastor's wife it is sort of my job too), but this one I am excited about the possibility. It is in a location that we had originally said "NO WAY" to, but it is intriguing enough and has so many positive options for our whole family that I think Paul is going to apply. Even if he doesn't get it, I feel fantastic that I am dreaming a little again, and I don't think I will be crushed.
I just think it is neat that the e-mail from my friend prepared me to even consider the job opportunity possibility from the other friend. The body of Christ is a marvelous thing.
Oh, and the family went swimming today before massive thunderstorms. I took a nap. The mosquitos are so bad that if I even step out the back door I get about 4 bites instantly and look like a chicken pox patient after about 15 minutes. Guess I'm just too sweet, and bug spray doesn't work in the pool. What a blessing that pool has been (again given by another member of the body of Christ). I like naps better than "gator" bites. That is what Kapooka calls mosquito bites.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Transition Time Ramblings...
Some days it is nice...we have a lot of family time. We get to play in the pool. We are re-connecting in a way that is fantastic.
Some days it is stressful... can we pay the bills? When will Paul get a job? What is the right kind of job? When or should we put the house on the market? Why am I not sleeping? How are the kids doing/adjusting?
Some days are just scary...will we be moved (if we are moving) before school starts? What is God calling us to? Is there a job out there that will provide for our needs without me working? What will life be like living away from my parents?
Other days are filled with more existential questions...have I been so caught up with life and ministry that I have forgotten the character and nature of God? Do I know that He is good? Do I trust Him and trust that He wants good for me? What do I need to learn? What bad habits have developed? What have a I learned? Why do I no longer dream big dreams but instead am just tired of scraping by and want to earn a living wage? How can I "do" ministry in that state?
Paul asked me if I could write my dream scenario of a new job for him, what would it look like? All I could come up with was being independently wealthy and living on a beach. Since that can't happen, I don't even know what I would like or want. That is a strange place to be for this gal who usually has a plan and then 3-4 back up plans for the future.
Some days it is stressful... can we pay the bills? When will Paul get a job? What is the right kind of job? When or should we put the house on the market? Why am I not sleeping? How are the kids doing/adjusting?
Some days are just scary...will we be moved (if we are moving) before school starts? What is God calling us to? Is there a job out there that will provide for our needs without me working? What will life be like living away from my parents?
Other days are filled with more existential questions...have I been so caught up with life and ministry that I have forgotten the character and nature of God? Do I know that He is good? Do I trust Him and trust that He wants good for me? What do I need to learn? What bad habits have developed? What have a I learned? Why do I no longer dream big dreams but instead am just tired of scraping by and want to earn a living wage? How can I "do" ministry in that state?
Paul asked me if I could write my dream scenario of a new job for him, what would it look like? All I could come up with was being independently wealthy and living on a beach. Since that can't happen, I don't even know what I would like or want. That is a strange place to be for this gal who usually has a plan and then 3-4 back up plans for the future.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
God is Good and so is my hubby
So I was a little whiny in my last post. I guess I have been a little grumpy around the house too. I am an introvert and I live in a family of extroverts. Normally I could find some alone time somewhere, but since Kapooka shares our room and everyone is home for the summer, there is really nowhere for me to go. Paul in a kind way pointed out my grumpiness and "kicked" me out of the house for the afternoon. I asked if he had read the blog and he said no, but these were the things he asked for me to accomplish....
1. Get a girly magazine or take the book I was reading and sit at my favorite coffee store and get my favorite beverage.
2. He handed me a coupon for a haircut and told me to go get that done while I was out.
3. He even said I should go window shopping (I tried on some great summer skirts, and got the thrill of trying something new without spending anything right now).
When I got home he even gave me a foot rub (even better than a pedicure if you ask me).
If you look at my list from my previous post, almost all of my wants were taken care of.
Oh, and the job for Paul...nothing yet, but while I was out and about a dear friend just called to chat and check in and see how I was doing emotionally with the job search. That was the next best thing to getting the right job offer. It just encouraged me that the right job is coming, and I just need to wait on the Lord's timing.
Feeling really loved tonight!
1. Get a girly magazine or take the book I was reading and sit at my favorite coffee store and get my favorite beverage.
2. He handed me a coupon for a haircut and told me to go get that done while I was out.
3. He even said I should go window shopping (I tried on some great summer skirts, and got the thrill of trying something new without spending anything right now).
When I got home he even gave me a foot rub (even better than a pedicure if you ask me).
If you look at my list from my previous post, almost all of my wants were taken care of.
Oh, and the job for Paul...nothing yet, but while I was out and about a dear friend just called to chat and check in and see how I was doing emotionally with the job search. That was the next best thing to getting the right job offer. It just encouraged me that the right job is coming, and I just need to wait on the Lord's timing.
Feeling really loved tonight!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Totally Self Focused Ramblings
We have been on summer break for a month now. I have really enjoyed the trips to the park, the extra time with my son, seeing all of the kids play together, and many other family memories. Today however...well let's just say I am ready for a mommy grown up day. No one slept well last night and it shows in the grumpies today. So, I thought I would make a quick list of things that I would love to do/have.
1. A job for my husband and any potential move done.
2. A spa day...mainly a massage (which I've had before) and a pedicure (which I've never had but could use right now)
3. My favorite frozen coffee drink from Borders, a new book, a comfy chair, and 3 non-stop hours to read (without anyone saying mama, but yet I knew all of my precious little ones were safe and cared for).
4. A haircut and maybe a color (that is really a dream since I am allergic to most hair color). However the latest haircolor trend of "bronde" really appeals to me for summer. What I really want is my long hair back for summer so that I can pull it back in a curly pony tail.
5. A cute new summer dress to go with the new summer hair.
Ahhhh... that was a nice mental vacation. Now back to reality. Laundry calls.
1. A job for my husband and any potential move done.
2. A spa day...mainly a massage (which I've had before) and a pedicure (which I've never had but could use right now)
3. My favorite frozen coffee drink from Borders, a new book, a comfy chair, and 3 non-stop hours to read (without anyone saying mama, but yet I knew all of my precious little ones were safe and cared for).
4. A haircut and maybe a color (that is really a dream since I am allergic to most hair color). However the latest haircolor trend of "bronde" really appeals to me for summer. What I really want is my long hair back for summer so that I can pull it back in a curly pony tail.
5. A cute new summer dress to go with the new summer hair.
Ahhhh... that was a nice mental vacation. Now back to reality. Laundry calls.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
A Reflection
Skye graduated this weekend. I have spent a lot of time reflecting on how many prayers God has answered, and answered generously for that young woman. I am so incredibly thankful for all that He has done in her life. She's had to work hard to obey him too!
I am very tired and it is late, but I thought I would share a tool that I use to pray for my kids. Paul printed it out and had it framed for me many years ago. I have it in the hallway by the kids' rooms. That way, as I walk by, I look for the number corresponding to the day's date and pray for that virtue. I pray at other times too (like when I fold each child's laundry I pray for them, and bedtime prayers, and my own prayer time), but this is such a neat way to have a regular program of prayer, I thought I would share. So.... here it is...
From http://www.reviveourhearts.com/downloads/index.php?id=9479
31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Children
by Bob Hostetler
1. Salvation—"Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory." (Isa. 45:8; 2 Tim. 2:10)
2. Growth in Grace—"I pray that my children may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Pet. 3:18)
3. Love—"Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to live a life of love, through the Spirit who dwells in them." (Gal. 5:25; Eph. 5:2)
4. Honesty and Integrity—"May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection." (Ps. 25:21)
5. Self-Control—"Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be alert and self-controlled in all they do." (1 Thess. 5:6)
6. Love for God's Word—"May my children grow to find Your Word more precious than much pure gold and sweeter than honey from the comb." (Ps. 19:10)
7. Justice—"God, help my children to love justice as You do and act justly in all they do." (Ps. 11:7; Mic. 6:8)
8. Mercy—"May my children always be merciful, just as their Father is merciful." (Luke 6:36)
9. Respect (for self, others, and authority)—"Father, grant that my children may show proper respect to everyone, as Your Word commands." (1 Pet. 2:17)
10. Biblical Self-Esteem—"Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus." (Eph. 2:10)
11. Faithfulness—"Let love and faithfulness never leave my children, but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts." (Prov. 3:3)
12. Courage—"May my children always be strong and courageous in their character and in their actions." (Deut. 31:6)
13. Purity—"Create in them a pure heart, O God, and let that purity of heart be shown in their actions." (Ps. 51:10)
14. Kindness—"Lord, may my children always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else." (1 Thess. 5:15)
15. Generosity—"Grant that my children may be generous and willing to share, and so lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age." (1 Tim. 6:18-19)
16. Peace-Loving—"Father, let my children make every effort to do what leads to peace." (Rom. 14:19)
17. Joy—"May my children be filled with the joy given by the Holy Spirit." (1 Thess. 1:6)
18. Perseverance—"Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to run with perseverance the race marked out for them." (Heb. 12:1)
19. Humility—"God, please cultivate in my children the ability to show true humility toward all." (Titus 3:2)
20. Compassion—"Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion." (Col. 3:12)
21. Responsibility—"Grant that my children may learn responsibility, for each one should carry his own load." (Gal. 6:5)
22. Contentment—"Father, teach my children the secret of being content in any and every situation, through Him who gives them strength." (Phil. 4:12-13)
23. Faith—"I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children's hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them." (Luke 17:5-6; Heb. 11:1-40)
24. A Servant's Heart—"God, please help my children develop servant's hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly, as if they were serving the Lord, not men." (Eph. 6:7)
25. Hope—"May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Rom. 15:13)
26. Willingness and Ability to Work—"Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work at it with all their heart, as working for the Lord and not for men." (Col. 3:23)
27. Passion for God—"Lord, please instill in my children a soul that 'followeth hard after thee,' one that clings passionately to You." (Ps. 63:8)
28. Self-Discipline—"Father, I pray that my children may acquire a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair." (Prov. 1:3)
29. Prayerfulness—"Grant, Lord, that my children's lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers." (1 Thess. 5:17)
30. Gratitude—"Help my children to live lives that are always overflowing with thankfulness and always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Eph. 5:20; Col. 2:7)
31. A Heart for Missions—"Lord, please help my children to develop a desire to see Your glory declared among the nations, Your marvelous deeds among the peoples." (Ps. 96:3)
For another great prayer idea (that admittedly takes a little more time investment) check out...
http://www.granolamom4god.com/2010/05/what-bible-will-i-purchase.html
I am very tired and it is late, but I thought I would share a tool that I use to pray for my kids. Paul printed it out and had it framed for me many years ago. I have it in the hallway by the kids' rooms. That way, as I walk by, I look for the number corresponding to the day's date and pray for that virtue. I pray at other times too (like when I fold each child's laundry I pray for them, and bedtime prayers, and my own prayer time), but this is such a neat way to have a regular program of prayer, I thought I would share. So.... here it is...
From http://www.reviveourhearts.com/downloads/index.php?id=9479
31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Children
by Bob Hostetler
1. Salvation—"Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory." (Isa. 45:8; 2 Tim. 2:10)
2. Growth in Grace—"I pray that my children may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Pet. 3:18)
3. Love—"Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to live a life of love, through the Spirit who dwells in them." (Gal. 5:25; Eph. 5:2)
4. Honesty and Integrity—"May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection." (Ps. 25:21)
5. Self-Control—"Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be alert and self-controlled in all they do." (1 Thess. 5:6)
6. Love for God's Word—"May my children grow to find Your Word more precious than much pure gold and sweeter than honey from the comb." (Ps. 19:10)
7. Justice—"God, help my children to love justice as You do and act justly in all they do." (Ps. 11:7; Mic. 6:8)
8. Mercy—"May my children always be merciful, just as their Father is merciful." (Luke 6:36)
9. Respect (for self, others, and authority)—"Father, grant that my children may show proper respect to everyone, as Your Word commands." (1 Pet. 2:17)
10. Biblical Self-Esteem—"Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus." (Eph. 2:10)
11. Faithfulness—"Let love and faithfulness never leave my children, but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts." (Prov. 3:3)
12. Courage—"May my children always be strong and courageous in their character and in their actions." (Deut. 31:6)
13. Purity—"Create in them a pure heart, O God, and let that purity of heart be shown in their actions." (Ps. 51:10)
14. Kindness—"Lord, may my children always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else." (1 Thess. 5:15)
15. Generosity—"Grant that my children may be generous and willing to share, and so lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age." (1 Tim. 6:18-19)
16. Peace-Loving—"Father, let my children make every effort to do what leads to peace." (Rom. 14:19)
17. Joy—"May my children be filled with the joy given by the Holy Spirit." (1 Thess. 1:6)
18. Perseverance—"Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to run with perseverance the race marked out for them." (Heb. 12:1)
19. Humility—"God, please cultivate in my children the ability to show true humility toward all." (Titus 3:2)
20. Compassion—"Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion." (Col. 3:12)
21. Responsibility—"Grant that my children may learn responsibility, for each one should carry his own load." (Gal. 6:5)
22. Contentment—"Father, teach my children the secret of being content in any and every situation, through Him who gives them strength." (Phil. 4:12-13)
23. Faith—"I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children's hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them." (Luke 17:5-6; Heb. 11:1-40)
24. A Servant's Heart—"God, please help my children develop servant's hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly, as if they were serving the Lord, not men." (Eph. 6:7)
25. Hope—"May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Rom. 15:13)
26. Willingness and Ability to Work—"Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work at it with all their heart, as working for the Lord and not for men." (Col. 3:23)
27. Passion for God—"Lord, please instill in my children a soul that 'followeth hard after thee,' one that clings passionately to You." (Ps. 63:8)
28. Self-Discipline—"Father, I pray that my children may acquire a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair." (Prov. 1:3)
29. Prayerfulness—"Grant, Lord, that my children's lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers." (1 Thess. 5:17)
30. Gratitude—"Help my children to live lives that are always overflowing with thankfulness and always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Eph. 5:20; Col. 2:7)
31. A Heart for Missions—"Lord, please help my children to develop a desire to see Your glory declared among the nations, Your marvelous deeds among the peoples." (Ps. 96:3)
For another great prayer idea (that admittedly takes a little more time investment) check out...
http://www.granolamom4god.com/2010/05/what-bible-will-i-purchase.html
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Strep Round # ???
The kids have had strep so many times this winter and spring so many times that I have lost count.
Wildcat has it and is on antibiotics. Today Kapooka was diagnosed again with strep and a double ear infection.
I am tired from caring for ill children. It is my privilege to do so, I just hurt when they hurt. Kapooka isn't sleeping well either.
I'm not sleeping well with all of the other transition going on in our lives.
Paul has resigned from our church. I love the people dearly, but the church can no longer pay Paul. We've missed paychecks before and done so gladly but our budget just can't squeeze anymore. It is time to let someone else try and build this body of believers.
Since the church is 1/3 of our income we need to replace that. Paul is just exhausted in all areas. He is especially exhausted from being pulled in 2 directions all of the time. After much prayer, the Lord is leading us to seek 1 job for him that would better use all of his gifts and talents. This week he told his school he is resigning.
We are so thankful for both our church and school. We truly love the people and the opportunities. However, when it is time to move on, the Lord makes it clear. We are doing our best to follow His direction. I am doing my best (which is not very good) to trust that the Lord has a plan to provide for all of our financial needs as well as give Paul a job where the stress will be less and he can work on a team.
Oh, and did I mention my throat hurts but my supposed primary care physician won't accept me as a patient. The insurance company says that she is my doctor and I can't go anywhere else.
Oh and did I mention that while I was in the bathroom today Kapooka dumped laundry detergent all over clean laundry that she pulled from the dryer. In the process the detergent got all over her, the washer and the floor too? And yes, the detergent was up high, she is just a monkey. Next time I will have to do my business much more quickly if she leaves the room that I am in. Sigh...it has just been one of those days. At least I caught her before she put the first address label on the wall (she climbed to get those while I was getting the detergent somewhat cleaned up).
Wildcat has it and is on antibiotics. Today Kapooka was diagnosed again with strep and a double ear infection.
I am tired from caring for ill children. It is my privilege to do so, I just hurt when they hurt. Kapooka isn't sleeping well either.
I'm not sleeping well with all of the other transition going on in our lives.
Paul has resigned from our church. I love the people dearly, but the church can no longer pay Paul. We've missed paychecks before and done so gladly but our budget just can't squeeze anymore. It is time to let someone else try and build this body of believers.
Since the church is 1/3 of our income we need to replace that. Paul is just exhausted in all areas. He is especially exhausted from being pulled in 2 directions all of the time. After much prayer, the Lord is leading us to seek 1 job for him that would better use all of his gifts and talents. This week he told his school he is resigning.
We are so thankful for both our church and school. We truly love the people and the opportunities. However, when it is time to move on, the Lord makes it clear. We are doing our best to follow His direction. I am doing my best (which is not very good) to trust that the Lord has a plan to provide for all of our financial needs as well as give Paul a job where the stress will be less and he can work on a team.
Oh, and did I mention my throat hurts but my supposed primary care physician won't accept me as a patient. The insurance company says that she is my doctor and I can't go anywhere else.
Oh and did I mention that while I was in the bathroom today Kapooka dumped laundry detergent all over clean laundry that she pulled from the dryer. In the process the detergent got all over her, the washer and the floor too? And yes, the detergent was up high, she is just a monkey. Next time I will have to do my business much more quickly if she leaves the room that I am in. Sigh...it has just been one of those days. At least I caught her before she put the first address label on the wall (she climbed to get those while I was getting the detergent somewhat cleaned up).
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