Transition Time Ramblings...

Some days it is nice...we have a lot of family time. We get to play in the pool. We are re-connecting in a way that is fantastic.

Some days it is stressful... can we pay the bills? When will Paul get a job? What is the right kind of job? When or should we put the house on the market? Why am I not sleeping? How are the kids doing/adjusting?

Some days are just scary...will we be moved (if we are moving) before school starts? What is God calling us to? Is there a job out there that will provide for our needs without me working? What will life be like living away from my parents?

Other days are filled with more existential questions...have I been so caught up with life and ministry that I have forgotten the character and nature of God? Do I know that He is good? Do I trust Him and trust that He wants good for me? What do I need to learn? What bad habits have developed? What have a I learned? Why do I no longer dream big dreams but instead am just tired of scraping by and want to earn a living wage? How can I "do" ministry in that state?

Paul asked me if I could write my dream scenario of a new job for him, what would it look like? All I could come up with was being independently wealthy and living on a beach. Since that can't happen, I don't even know what I would like or want. That is a strange place to be for this gal who usually has a plan and then 3-4 back up plans for the future.